Zimbio is having one of those TV character contests where people vote for their fave TV characters and if their choices win they can be like "yay!" and be all happy and shit. I don't really know what the purpose of a character contests are. I usually ignore them, but this one caught my attention because it's cheesier than the rest. They're asking you to vote for who you think is the "better couple". Your choices are Jax and Tara from Sons of Anarchy or some couple from Glee.  I'm seeing a whole bunch of SOA fans commenting on the Facebook link saying "Jax n Tara all the way!" and I'm completely taken aback by it. First of all, nobody likes Tara. Second of all, nobody watches Glee so they don't know what the fuck Jax and Tara are up against.  So And So and their boyfriend/girlfriend Who The Fuck could be a great couple, but Glee is too cheesy to watch so nobody will ever find out. Jax and Tara had to get married in a whorehouse because deep down they knew that the Waffle House parking lot was just way too classy to host that mess. They're already on the outs. When Tara got arrested, all Jax did was flare his nostrils. That could have been a happy nostril flare, we don't fucking know. 

     I've posted the link to the contest, and it's the first word of this blog post. Vote if you want, but I agree with Grumpy Cat. I ain't voting. This contest is not asking the right question. It should be "Which couple is more irritating".  If that were the case, then my vote would be "Jax n Tara all da way!" 

One of my favorite lines from 'Phantom of the Opera' by Andrew Lloyod Weber is 'It's over now, the music of the night', in case all y'all are wonderin' why that line is so familiar. . .

First, and foremost, Tig survived! I gave up tryin' to figure out where Sutter is goin' with the series and just enjoyin' the ride. Everytime I think - as a writer - that I know where he's goin', he throws a curve ball. During the first airin', when that scene came up, I was on the edge of me seat, and nearly stopped breathin'. It SO looked like Jax was sellin' Tig out for a maintenance contract and a house for Lyla and Opie's kids (and her kid)! Then Jaxass goes to save the day. Can't blame Tig for bein' upset by Jaxass waitin' til the last moment to do so. . .what IF Pope hadn't taken his time???? Tig gettin' to pull the trigger on Pope, especially aftere the prejuidicial comment Pope made about Dawn/Marguax, was poetic justice in my book. The fact that it was Clay's gun, and the only prints that would be on it would be Clay's (Tig, Jaxass and Juice used gloves to handle it) is even more poetic and shows to me just how betrayed Tig felt by Clay.

So, yes, I'm relieved! The pit bull fighting has some of the FB/Twitter community's drawers in a wad over the animal abuse. I loved Rippin-Kitten's tweet that there wasn't such a hue and cry over Gem's holdin' a gun to a baby's head in S3! My take on it is that most people don't see or know just how vicious dog fightin' can be. Sutter went ballz to the wall to put that out for all to see what it really is. And unfortunately, when a pit - or any other dog - doesn't perform as well as it should've, the owner WILL outright kill it. Tig's reaction not just to the wounded dog's fate, but to the dead dogs is one of those reasons we love him.

Otto is one sick fuck. Who would've guessed that he'd bite off his own tongue so he wouldn't have to give a statement? And takin' that piece of meat and throwin' it at the window where Torric was watchin'? Talk about one showin' defiance? Wowser. More on this in a minute.

Wendy seemed a little rocky from the speedball Jax gave her. That was a nasty ass bruise on her shoulder, and Tara needs to take that into consideration somewhere down the road. I hope that the fact this was intramuscular as opposed to intravenous doesn't make Wendy go off the wagon.

I had to wonder why in Hell Chucky would take the gift basket from Tara/Jax's house to the garage. He had to know that Gemma would get curious! When I heard him say it had perishables, it kinda made a little more sense. Unfortunately, this set the stage for two fierce mothers to go to combat. Tara stood up to Gemma, but Gemma struck back as only Gemma can. Thank Gawd she didn't have a skateboard!

Was anyone else a little let down that we didn't see much Mayan action this season? Especially Alvarez. But it was great seein' the Mayan Calvary come to the rescue in the showdown between SAMCRO, Nero's group, and Dante's group. Let's hope for more Alvarez next season, eh?

Bobby has withdrawn from bein' VP, but is still in the club. This was kinda inevitable. He was not happy with Jaxass' behavior and removin' the VP patch was his best way of showin' it. Bobby's line to Jaxass about havin' the potential to be better than Clay was right on the money. The gavel is not what distorts a person, it's the secrets one keeps from his crew that distorts.

Both Clay and Tara were brought to the pinnacle of hope for a new start, only to be plummeted into the valley of dispair and arrested. I actually felt sympathy for Clay. He knew he'd fucked up last season (a few weeks ago in SOA time), but the only thing he really seemed to regret was losing Gemma. Both she and Juice gave him up; Gemma by out and out lying to Eli about Clay's whereabouts, and juice by stayin' silent. Gemma has really gotten her revenge for the smack down. Clay is now a marked man; Pope's successor has put the $5 million bounty on Clay's head, and he's going to be basically unprotected. Is he emotionally broken so that he'll be glad for Death? As for Tara, she was all set for Providence, only to be arrested on a murder warrant for her part in Pamela Torric's murder by Otto.

Now, there are two possibilities as to who spilled the beans. The popular thought is that Gemma contacted the investigators at Stockton and told her tale. My DH brought up another possibility; that Otto gave a written statement naming Tara as his co - conspirator. Granted, Otto can't talk, but he did say that Sons live, Redwood bleeds. Somehow, I don't see just killin' the nurse was the only bleedin' goin' on. What better revenge against the club than havin' the current Prez' old lady go down for murder?

So we end the season with a tableau very nearly like the ending last Season. In this case, Jax is sitting at the kitchen table with his son, the legal papers re: the kids, the houses, and the life insurance policy are torn in half in front of him. Gemma walks in after seein' Tara in the back seat of the police cruiser, touches the kid first, then places her hand on Jax's left shoulder (Tara's hand went over the right shoulder). Interestin' juxtaposition.

Like any pregnancy, it's gonna be a LONG 9 months before Season 6. Anyone else gettin' weird cravin's?

    Tonight is the long-anticipated finale to the fifth season of Sons of Anarchy. I'm not watching it until after I've been properly spoiled via Twitter, because that's when I'll be able to breathe. My hopes is that Jax (aka Prince Hissy Fit Nostril Flare) gets killed off (he won't) and that Tig doesn't (hope he won't). I will say that if we do lose Tiggy, I don't think Tignation will be going away. We'll just be rooting for Tig the Spirit Version and hoping he comes back as a zombie or a cyborg and kills everyone else on the show (just kidding). Still, we should keep our fingers crossed and hope that our favorite necrophile survives, because let's face it, necrophilia will be no fun for him if he's dead too.  Happy watching, you silly fuckers! 

   Oh, and if you're gonna drink and watch, why not make Jaxhole's hissy fits and yelling into a drinking game? Every time the little douche yells, flares his nostrils or throws a fit, take a shot or sip of beer. Let's see how drunk you get. 

Meow! Cat here, doin' the blog for 512 at Inviz's request. Hope I do this justice!

While it's temptin' to jump ahead and talk about 513, I won't go there. At least not now. Teasers/previews are always edited by the network for the most shock effect for one. For two, sometimes I tend to be an optimist, so until He Whose Name Makes Our Page Actually (ulp!) dies, I'll believe in miracles (hey, I'm a Preacher's Kid, so it kinda comes with the territory!).

Darthy basically means a life altering event. What wasn't Life alterin' in this episode? Holee changeling, Batman! The whole damn epi was a life altering event!

Clay has lost his patch, and but for one 'Nay', he would've met Mr. Mayhem/Mr. Reaper. This is somethin' that a friend of mine across the pond known as Cavey says gets on his tits. It gets on mine too. Which nickname is Death, fellas? One week it's Mr. Mayhem, the next Mr. Reaper, then back again. I'm gettin' whiplash! The smackdown Jaxass gave Clay as he was comin' back to the clubhouse was pretty much a given. We all know the lad has a temper, and it certainly erupted like Mt. Vesuvius this epi. If he wasn't shoutin' at people, he was actin' out. Granted, he's pissed at Clay for killin' his da, and tryin' to kill his fiance. Thanks to Bobby's negative vote, Clay's life was spared meetin' Mr. Mayhem Reaper. Therefore, Jaxass had to settle for beatin' the shit outta his stepdad. So much for 'honor thy father', eh?

That Clay could remain so stoic about losin' his patch says a lot for the man. Hate him some might for what he did to Gemma and Tara last season, and for bringin' the renegade Nomads in to fuck with Jaxass' presidency, y'all gotta give props to a man who can hold his pain and heartache at arm's length until he is all alone and able to give vent to it. Kudos to Ron Perlman for that pearl of actin'. It was a small scene, but it was full of impact. I doubt we'll EVER see Jaxass with that kind of control.

Pope. There is somethin' about Jaxass's comment to Pope's lieutenant that has me wonderin'. The lieutenant has been Pope's go - to man for 17 years. That's loyalty "or patience". Pope is one minute poopin' on the idea of revenge, then remindin' Jaxass that he (Pope) has an agenda where Tig is concerned? Hello, McFly! Anybody home? Is anyone else as bothered by that as yours truly? Then Pope goes and spills to the cartel about Clay bein' out of the club, while Jaxass and crew are bartering the next to the last gun deal between the Irish and the cartel. Does this mean that Pope is a dope for the cartel? What business was it of Pope to rat that news to the cartel in the first place? Hmmm.

Bean - Ni^&$%??? For real? Is that an Irish derogatory slang term? Only reason I ask is that my ancestors never used such a phrase.

So here we are in the shed doin' the gun deal, and guns start blazin' and a couple of Mexicans get killed. Methinks Bobby nearly bit the bullet, had somebody not shot a Mexican. Bobby certainly looked like he nearly shit his pants! Bullets are flyin', the cartel gets the upper hand, and the Irish are pissed.

So when SAMCRO feels like a target, they and everyone associated with them go on lockdown. We saw that in Season 1 and 2, then again this Season. The problem I have with lockdown like that is when the family members and associated businesses are swept away to the compound. Again, these are people with businesses outside the club's influence or only associated with the club via money. I'm not sure Nero was happy that his Diosa venture had to shut down and relocate. Perhaps it is normal, but it certainly can be problematic in the 'real' world of business.

Meanwhile, Tara gives her statement with Lowen present. Due to the possibility of going away for some time as an accessory for murder, Lowen does the right thing in gettin' Tara to think about a plan for the boys 'in case'. Smart thing, Tara doesn't want Mama Gemma the Stoner to be the boys' guardian. It's also questionable that the county would let the boys stay with Jaxass, who is a felon. That leaves Abel's birth momma, who has been clean and sober for some time now. She's turned her life around, and Tara sees Wendy as the lesser of the evils.

But Jaxass, for whatever reasons he has (maybe he just can't let go of the fact that Wendy did drugs while carryin' Abel and the poor kid nearly died), doesn't like the idea of Wendy having contact with the kid. Tara has green lighted, but that's not good enough. He intends to talk to her outside the hospital. Here come the Irish and take Wendy away, demanding nearly a half mil for her safe return.

Nero to the rescue! I swear, if pussy salvation is THAT lucrative, I'm about ready to become a frackini' companionator meself! The man's a walkin' bank vault! It's nice to have friends like that, and he makes the money available to free Wendy. She's upset upon her return, having learned of the kidnappin'. Hell, it might be ancient history to Jaxass and Tara, it's brand new to Wendy! No wonder she freaks.

So Clay has to return any and every momento he has that has the Reaper image on it. That's a lot of stuff, but he and Juicy get it all packed. Juicy gets a call from Jax, wonder what that's all about? Another chance for Juicy to earn the club's trust by offin' Clay? Meanwhile, back at the clubhouse, Tig gets a call from Jax. Notice that Tiggy was doin' SAA work? Callin' the families about lockdown, takin' Wendy home, gettin' the dope for Jaxass? Is Jaxass settin' Tig up by makin' him feel needed?

Just about the time I think that Sutter can't freak me out (and after the death by crucifix scene, that was freaky enough), he pushes the envelope with another one. Jaxass deliberately injects Wendy, a recoverin' dope addict, with a dose of the very shit that she has been tryin' to stay away from! THAT I have some trouble with. It shows how completely and totally like Clay Jaxass has become. Unless Wendy can really fight it off, her monkey has just hopped another ride on her back. Sure, addicts fall off the wagon from time to time, but Jesus Christ! Usually they do it to themselves, not have it done for them!

I have a feelin' that sometime in a future far away, the actions that Jax took in this episode are goin' to be examined by his boys, and his boys are NOT gonna be proud. If this episode is any indication of the man John Teller intended to be, then Sutter has really given us a mind fuck. His manuscript certainly doesn't read as vicious and nasty as Jax became.

The use of 'The Whistler' by White Buffalo during the end scenes (Clay gettin' his Reaper tats blackened, Wendy gettin' needled) was chillin'. I had a flashback to Charles Bronson's character Harmonica in Once Upon a Time...In the West. If you've not heard the music, check it out sometime. Hauntin'.

OK, enough of this kitteh's hissin'. Sorry if this was waay long. Figured I'd just air my thoughts since I don't have any witty videos to share.

  Because of weird work hours on Tuesday nights, I haven't been watching SOA on the nights it airs (in case you haven't noticed from the fact that I'm like, not blogging).    I'm still 2 or 3 episodes behind on SoA and I hate to admit it, but I haven't really been tripping over myself to get caught up. From what I have been hearing on Twitter and from some of Tignation's loyal members, the show has become the Gemma show and has gotten weird and Jax is more of an insufferable asshole than before. I'm in the middle of 5.07 and right now, and have been for about a week. I've just been kind of "meh" about SOA. That's kind of sad. 

   One question though, anyone else notice that Jax is trying to talk in a deeper voice since this season began? He's totally trying to make himself sound more dangerous and to me, that's hiliarious. When he talks it reminds me of that "Jizz in My Pants " song  by Lonely Island becuase Jaxhole's voice sounds just like that.  And what's with what he told Gemma in 5.07? "I was glad Thomas was dead because then I'd have you all to myself".  Mmmmmkay,, a teenage boy that still wants to keep his mommy to himself? That's totally not weird and/or pathetic, right?

   So even though I haven't been watching or catching up, I'm still worrying about Tigger. As many have pointed out that this is indeed a blog dedicated to that weird fucker and I'll be pissed if Jax  does what he told Pope he was going to do and throw him under the bus. It makes me scared to start watching again  I hear the little king has gottten darker *smirks* since I last saw him. 

Since I haven't been watching and I hate surprises I am going to make this a spoiler thread. Tell me what's been going on in SoA, what your thoughts are  and we can have a discussion on that. 

IF THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS SECTION DON'T GET PISSY, I WARNED YOU. 

And here's that Lonely Island song. We all need to laugh

I don't know who Trevor is exactly, but I'm sure he's a huge fan of the show.

Anyhoo, how are we enjoying all that is going on in SOA land? Personally, I just want to sit them all down in a circle and make everyone be honest with each other. Not because I think it will make everything better but I'm just so damn confused by who tells who what, who knows what he did, who knows that he knows that she did what he told him to and why did it take SO DAMN LONG for them to find Chis? Jax wasn't even bothered for Christ's sake.

I'm surprised the show is still called Sons of Anarchy and not The Gemma Show. She gets more airtime than anyone and, let's be honest, what is she actually doing besides crashing cars? I'm more interested in Tig and Venus than I am Nero and Gemma. Seriously, anyone else vote for a Tig and Venus spin-off show? Maybe they can do a Bonnie and Clyde-esque stint, go cross country on a killing spree and screw around with farm yard animals in Oregon along the way.

    I don't know about y'all but If I were throwing one of my bros under the bus and doing business with the guy who torched his daughter while making my poor homie watch that shit, I would have had him throw in the Rollls too. I mean shit, if that motherfucker can afford to have a $5M "revenge prize" as part of his life insurance policy, he can sure as shit afford to part with that swagnificent car. And a Bentley. Damon Pope's rich ass could afford to throw in a Bentley too. 

    Something tells me that even if the club voted down this new business venture with Pope,  Jax would still have gone out on his own and done it anyway.  I was suprised that didn't happen. I love the turmoil on Tig's face when he was about to vote and I'm pretty sure Tig felt like punching Jax in the face right then. It's bad enough that this idea was even brought to the table, but Jax twisting Tig's arm and forcing to vote yes on this is not sitting well with Tig, and you could see it on his face. I think Tig capping the guard's wife was his way of acting out. He knows he'll never get to avenge Dawn's death as long as Jaxhole is forcing to be a good dog, so being as violent as possible in the tasks that Jax assigns to him is his way of satisfying his need to hurt something and numb his pain.  Kim Coates did such a great job showing us that pain.

WTF?

   This week's Gemma drama was almost kind of cool. That crazy bitch shooting herself in the bedroom was pretty interesting, although really fucked up. The only thing is, I stopped paying attention whenever Gemma was talking to Nero. Dora the Whora was his sister, did I hear that right? And that weird bitch was in love with him? Huh? Did they go where Jax almost went with Trinity? Like I said, I stopped paying attention. I've actually been doing that a lot this season.

TWO MORE DEAD WIVES TO ADD TO THE LIST

   Wives and girlfriends are not safe on this show, and I was not surprised when Rita bit it. I liked Rita, but I don't think I'll miss her. The death of the guard's wife was just cool. That was such an awesome scene. Graphic, but awesome. We're up to 7 dead wives and girlfriends. I'm betting we'll hit 20 by the end of the series.

 I FUCKING CALLED THAT SHIT

   The fact that Clay's and the Nomads are behind the home invasions was not a shock to me. In fact I totally called that shit. I mean, if I were a devious motherfucker like Clay and I'd be usurped by the brat I'd be doing anything I could to get the gavel back too. It's interesting that Jax is slowly turning into Clay, so even if Clay gets the gavel back (he won't) the club is no worse off.  Either way, they've got a greedy, increasingly violnet leader who has one foot out the door. It's a lose lose situation for SAMCRO.

   So my midget ass hasn't been around in...forever. That makes me sad, because I haven't been able to watch SOA or post any profanity-enriched opinions and reviews on the episodes. The good newsd is that I have some free time on my hands this week, so I'll finally get to watch the last three episdoes of Sons of Anarchy . I plan on posting blog entries for each of them, hopefully all by Friday. The first one will be for 5.06 and that should go up tomorrow. The second one will go up on Thursday and the last one shoujld go up on Friday when I'll be able to watch tonight's episode. I hope everyone who is on the east coast and in Ohio to be safe. That Sandy is one scary bitch.